By Melissa Sikorsky, MSW, LCSW
Behind every first responder, there is a family that faces unique challenges.
While frontline heroes protect and serve, their loved ones share in the stress, uncertainty and emotional complexity that comes with the job.
And for some, it can take a toll on their emotional health and well-being.
Penn Medicine Princeton House Behavioral Health offers mental health support for families of first responders through its First Responder Treatment Services program and other treatment services for children, adolescents, and adults.
Constant Worry
One of the most significant struggles families of first responders face is the constant concern for their loved ones’ safety. Every shift comes with the inherent risks of dangerous situations, accidents, or life-threatening encounter and can feel like a risk to their loved one’s safety.
This perpetual worry often leads to chronic stress, which has been linked to various health issues, including high blood pressure, sleep disturbances, and a weakened immune system.
Spouses, children, and parents of first responders may live with the fear of a life-changing phone call, which creates a level of anxiety that can be exhausting to manage day after day.
Missed Holidays
First responders often work irregular hours—night shifts, weekends, and holidays—which can disrupt family routines and traditions. Missing birthdays, anniversaries, and holiday gatherings becomes a common reality for many families. The unpredictability of schedules makes it difficult to plan family vacations or even simple activities like dinner together.
For children of first responders, the absence of a parent during key moments can create feelings of disappointment or confusion. Spouses or partners may feel like they shoulder family responsibilities alone.
Emotional Disconnect
When first responders do come home, they may carry the emotional weight of the trauma they’ve witnessed. This can lead to emotional distancing, making it difficult for families to connect.
Partners and children might notice their loved ones are physically present but emotionally distant, often struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, or burnout.
Moreover, their loved ones may turn to unhealthy behaviors such as using alcohol or other substances to help them cope with their emotions.
The emotional toll of being exposed to traumatic events can affect family members who feel helpless in providing support.
Financial Stress
Although many first responders find their work rewarding, it is often not without financial sacrifice. Some may have second jobs to make ends meet, adding another layer of stress. This financial strain is compounded by the risks of injury on the job or early retirement due to burnout, leaving families to face financial insecurity.
Strategies for Managing the Strain
Despite these challenges, many first responder families develop resilience and adopt coping strategies to manage the difficulties they face. Building strong family routines, even around unpredictable schedules, can provide stability.
Other strategies include:
- Open communication. Open dialogue between the first responder and their family is crucial. Allowing family members to express their fears, concerns, and frustrations can provide emotional relief. First responders can also benefit from talking about their experiences in a way that does not overwhelm their families but still offers insight into their daily challenges. Using “I” statements can help family members express their thoughts in feelings in a non-accusatory manner.
- Support networks. Families of first responders can benefit from peer support groups where they can connect with others who understand their experiences. These groups offer a space for families to share and gain emotional support. In addition to joining a support group, talking to a friend who also has a first responder in their family can also help family members cope. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (www.nami.org) offers information about support groups for first responders and their families.
- Self-care practices. Self-care for both the first responder and their family members is essential. Whether through physical activities, hobbies, or mindfulness practices, finding ways to decompress from the stress can significantly improve emotional and physical well-being. Writing in a journal is especially beneficial to managing emotions.
- Financial planning. Seeking the help of financial planners can help families navigate the uncertainties around money and plan for future contingencies. This proactive approach can ease some of the financial burden, giving families one less thing to worry about.
- Mental health therapy. Therapy and family counseling can be invaluable. Sessions that include spouses and children can provide a safe space to discuss the unique challenges of the family dynamic and offer coping strategies for managing stress and emotional distance.
While first responders play a critical role in society, their families are heroes in their own way. But even heroes need some backup.
If you are a family member of a first responder, talking to a mental health professional can help you cope with anxiety and stress and take care of your own emotional well-being.
For more information about Penn Medicine Princeton House Behavioral Health visit www.princetonhouse.org. Princeton House admissions clinicians can be reached at (888) 437-1610.
Melissa Sikorsky, MSW, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker and a senior social worker with Services for First Responders at Penn Medicine Princeton House Behavioral Health.
