This is an article I thought twice about writing. I wasn’t sure where this story should go after my mother suddenly passed in 2024.
Should I write the sad part about how I think about my mom every day, probably 10 times a day? I know my brother is thinking the same thing as me. We were always super close, but since my mom passed, we have become attached at the hip. We talk every day and make sure we are both doing OK.
My brother is flourishing, by the way. The guy coaches what seems like 153 soccer teams at once and still has time to stop by Dad’s house to check in.
My dad has journals he writes in about my mom’s passing. It was something my brother bought him to try to get his feelings out. I don’t know if it’s working, but every time I walk into my childhood home, they sit on the kitchen table and are filled with stories. I’ve never once looked at them because I’m not sure I want to see his words.
The three of us have been left with a void in our lives that can never be filled. How can one person have such an impact on so many lives?
Ilene freaking Black can.
I’m so proud to call her my mother.
You may have read my mother Ilene Black’s articles, and they were definitely amazing. Mine, not so much.
Thank you for reading, if you still do read this “Betting on Black” column. As you know, my mother, Ilene Black, started it a while back, and I thought I should continue it.
The Ewing Observer agreed to let “Bath Tub Boy” continue to write her column? I can’t fault them because my dad, my brother, my wife and the rest of my family did, too.
I do have to rat my mother out a little bit. She embellished a lot of the stories she wrote about. Yes, my dad, my brother and I look like models. She didn’t lie about that, but she may have made the three of us look better than we really were.
She is the one she should have been raving about. Would she? Never.
My mom was the single greatest human I’ve ever met. I saved a YouTube video that she made for her work, and it has her smiling face and her voice on it. I watch it weekly.
So this is where I talk about grief.
Grief is a tricky thing. That’s what I’m learning. My dad deals with it his way, my brother deals with it his way, and my mother always told me to write down my feelings. That’s how I’m dealing with my grief.
I write all of my feelings down. Some make it into this column. A lot don’t.
I’m supposed to write 700 words per article, but sometimes 500 is all you need to express your feelings. I could write about my mom all day, but how awkward would that be?
To wrap this up, if you’ve lost a loved one, find your own way to grieve. There isn’t a book to tell you what to do. You just have to do what feels right.
Mine is to write stories, and they happen to be published in the Ewing Observer.
Donnie Black was born and grew up in Ewing Township. He currently works at radio station 92.5 WXTU in Philadelphia as a producer, on-air personality and promotions director.
